How to deal with F.E.A.R

I've talked plenty about fear in the past; the good, the bad and all that comes in between.

Yet the more I think about it, the only thing that really matters is how to deal with it.

Fear exists. It will always exist as long as there are atoms in the universe.

There's little we can do to change that, but there is something we can do to change the way we think about the things we fear and what we do about them.

Like what?

Well, like:

F.E.A.R - Fuck Everything And Run

Just run away. This person/place/thing is just far too scary and I can't deal with it, and even if I could, it is far too big/powerful/legitimately dangerous to overcome, ergo the safest option is to fuck everything and run.

F.E.A.R - Fight Everything And Rebel

I don't like this. Things are changing and that change threatens my personal safety/interests/beliefs. The thing I fear the most may manifest itself in my life and I will not stand for it. So I will fight everything and I will rebel and I will stand my ground.

F.E.A.R - Face Everything And Recover

Pretty much the opposite of the above.

I do like things the way they are. This is not a good way to live my life and things need to change. Change is still very scary though, so I simply need to face it, embrace it and make the changes necessary to recover from whatever situation I'm in as I journey on to something better.

F.E.A.R - Forgive Everyone And RELAX

Most people, places and things are not out to deliberately cause me harm. In fact, as they go about doing whatever it is they're doing, they're not thinking about me at all.

If they do happen to do something which harms or threatens me, it has nothing to do with me at all, and certainly nothing to do with any need for malice. 

So, knowing most people, places and things are not out to get me means there's far less to be scared of. If they do harm me, they didn't mean to. I can forgive them, and relax.

52 Songs - #24: Iron Maiden - Run to the Hills

No, it still doesn't beat The Angel & The Gambler as my favourite Iron Maiden song, but it does bring back particularly fond memories of gathering together with my friends for mammoth air guitar sessions on the dancefloor of Maximes Nightclub every Friday night.

We had a lot of fun back then.

There was just something so over-the-top and deleriously playful that came about when the DJ queued up Run to the Hills that would have us all gathered round in a circle like a bunch of insane geeks. Sure we probably looked stupid, but we sure had a huge ammount of fun doing so.

• What is 52 songs?

Friday Round-Up: June 14th 2013

An eclectic collection of stories on life, work, creativity and achieving goals, all  of which I've read and enjoyed in the past week.

• 8 Signs That You Were Meant to Be a Writer
  Ever secretly dream about writing? Or feel as though you're lacking something if you don't get to churn out those words?
  
  If so, you were born to be a writer according to this nice little piece from Write to Done.


• 12 Rules to Live By
  If you remember the time we spent talking about writing down our values, ideals and beliefs in our personal manifestos, you'll probably identify with this inspiring piece from Craig Ballantyne.
  
  Here, Craig shares his own '12 Rules to Live by' which certainly give pause for thought.


• Four reasons your version of better might not be enough
  More intriguing stuff to wrap our brains around from writer and influencer, Seth Godin. "Proof," says Seth, "is only useful if it leads to belief"


• Clean Out Your List of Blog Post Ideas in a Blog Content Workshop
  Another awesome post from Pro Blogger, this one makes a compelling argument for clearing out those epic lists of ideas you'll probably never turn into actual blog posts.


• 30sec Tip: If You are Not Willing to Change Your Mind, You’ll Hate Yourself Later
  Being flexible and open-minded is something I strive for in my life. Being too rigid and unwilling to change my mind or my ideas limits the number of opportunities out there.
  
  This quick piece from Lifehack.org may help you understand why.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself....and everything else in the universe

Somebody far wiser than I once claimed that there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

I would like to propose an amendment to such a statement:

There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and everything else in the universe.

And I mean everything. All the people, all the places and all the things under the sun, all coming with their own forms of fear, some of of it helpful, some of it not so much.

Think of public speaking, social gatherings, striking up a conversation with someone you're attracted to or being assertive when the moment calls, not to mention all those sundry other situations when fear threatens (and often succeeds!) to keep us  barely treading water in the shallow, stagnant pool of our our so-called comfort zone.

That fear is mostly unhelpful, unproductive, holds us back, keeps us down.

On the other side of town there's another kind of fear.

It's the fear of being hit by a truck, or being electrocuted, or poisoned, or stabbed or shot or generally getting our ass kicked in some fashion.

There's all that fear and it's useful. It's a fear which really just wants to stop us coming to physical harm or, you know, winding up dead.

Of course, the first form of fear can protect us too; from embarrassment, humiliation or rejection. 

Doesn't mean I have to like it.

After all, countless men and women have proved that the human ego can withstand an awesome amount of punishment and bounce back to fight another day.

That is, so long as the owner of said ego doesn't stray into oncoming traffic.

There's a third form of fear too, the one that sits smack in the middle of the first two and encompasses...well, everything else.

The weird stuff, the deeply personal stuff, the fear of mice and spiders, of small holes and large dogs, the fear of clowns and criminals and yeah, of frogs. 

In other words, the fears some people would call irrational.

Not me. Ask me about my fear of frogs and I'll rationalize the hell out of it given half a chance.

None of those have anything to do with the fear of fear itself. 

I do not fear the concept nor the process nor the idea of fear.

Sat here now, comfortable and at peace and a million miles away from most forms of fear (apart from the one that tells me you won't like this post and will track me down and laugh at me about it), I actually welcome the stuff.

Fear will stop me running out into the path of an oncoming train. Fear will be the thing that drives me the next time I'm forced to summon the energy to battle my nerves, climb on stage, grab a microphone and address a crowd of strangers.

Fear itself will not define me. How I deal with it will.

52 Songs - #23: Killswitch Engage - My Last Serenade

In the latter part of my teenage years, Friday nights had a particular routine about them; finish college, wrap up at a part time job on a market stall, get home, get changed and head back out to Maximes Nightclub for their weekly 'Rock Night.'

It was in Maximes that friendships were formed, girls were kissed, relationships started and ended and started again, that decisions were made to start new bands or dissolve existing ones and, yes, it was in Maximes that we rocked the night away to songs old and new.

Quite a number of the songs I would grow to love I first heard on Maximes dancefloor, and My Last Serenade is no exception.

I won't pretend that I listen to this song often these days, but I do admit that I still very much enjoy it when I do, and that without fail it always takes me back to those days at Maximes.

• What is 52 songs?

Friday Round-Up: June 7th 2013

An eclectic collection of stories on life, work, creativity and achieving goals, all  of which I've read and enjoyed in the past week.

• Understanding idea adoption (you're not a slot, you choose a slot)
  
  Seth Godin looks at marketing a new project, product or business, and why launching something new before running right onto the next project might not be the best way forward.


• Lost Your Motivation To Write? How to Get Your Mojo Back
  Let's face it; it happens to the best of us at some time or another.
  
  Maybe a deadline looms on the horizon that we just can't find the energy to work towards or perhaps we're way behind on updating our blog and writing just seems to have lost its spark.
  
  Some how or another, our 'writing mojo' has gone! Luckily, the awesome folks at Write to Done are here to lend a helping hand and help us find it again.


• Case Study: 10-in-1 Content Creation Strategy
  There's always inspiring, insightful stuff on Pro Blogger, most of it with practical advice which one can readily implement into one's own blogging life.
  
  This fantastic piece on getting more from your content is no exception.


• Why Your Mind Is the Most Powerful Thing in the Universe
  Interesting stuff from Mashable.com on why thinking positively may actually change the physical structure of our brain and be pretty helpful to us.


• Design Some Awesome Business Cards This Weekend
  Do printed business cards still matter in a day and age when everything's digital?
  
  The folks at Lifehacker.com seem to think so and I happen to agree, not just because my own business cards have a flaming bass guitar on them and look pretty kick ass.
  
  Here, Adam Dachis looks at the best way to get some really cool business cards, and what to do once you've got them.

52 Songs - #22: Live - Dolphin's Cry

It's only with much hindsight that I now recall a third song staying with me from the days of Tommy Vance's VH1 show; this one.

I only include it much further down on our list because it was years before I heard the song again, this time in the form of a live recording introduced by the singer with the words 'this isn't a song about dolphins, unless those dolphins happen to be F****NG!'

Unlike much of the music I was listening to at the time which was mostly dark, heavy and rather negative in its general outlook, there was something altogether uplifting, possibly even spiritual in this track and I enjoyed it immensely.

It would be yet another bunch of years before I really started to enjoy the rest of Live's music, but they definitely made a fan out of me with this song.

• What is 52 songs?